When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance. - Victor Borge
Laughter is the closest distance between two people. - Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea; visit people once a year. - Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded? - Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. - Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace. - Victor Borge
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so. - Victor Borge
The shortest distance between two people is a smile. - Victor Borge
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. - Victor Borge
A smile is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them? - Victor Borge
I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary. - Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. - Victor Borge